Competition fever!

Yeah, the competition fever is on. Felt like writing this post right after I had completed the thousand-words-long essay for the competition. So far, my luck has been down and out. I'm beginning to think that I'm losing my touch at winning competitions! I miss the good old days when I used to enter 30 competitions and win only 5 of them-the 5 crap ones, of course! How I wish to win something great once in a while. No such luck. Maybe it's my name... can't be my face because we don't need to send pics of ourselves for competitions unless it's a pic competition. I handed in a crap entry for the last competition. Wasn't aiming to win, just entering for the sake of entering. Yeah, I'm that kind of person-I just luv entering competitions. *sic!*

Somehow this post feels kinda late, because I'm feeling a bit sad after knowing someone has passed away. Thank God I didn't go to the library today. Wouldn't want to be in tears in front of total strangers in this city. Trust me, the last time I was in tears in public, a lady thought I was having a cold... Sheessshhh! No wonder I'm trying my darnest to find a way out. To find where I actually belong. Somehow, I don't fit here. And I don't know why. Maybe I'm supposed to be an Academy Award winner for Best Actress? I'm so gonna write a script and send it to Hollywood(assuming that they don't rip me off), and then take on small roles, just like M.Night Shyamalan. I wonder whatever happened to him? Or maybe I ought to write a horror book ala Christopher Pike(because I can't write other genres, like Wazi). It's either horror or romance, since I'm so good at writing this kinda stuff.. nyehehe... *wishful thinking mode*

Death

Hearing about death can be a humbling experience. I just found out about the death of a friend whom my mom and I met during our travels in Europe. Throughout the years, I kept in touch with the couple from America, sending them letters and postcards, all the way from rainy Belfast and now, sunny Malaysia. Hearing about her husband's demise, gave me a sense of sorrow. Lost is not a husband, friend, father or grandfather, but a soul returning to meet his Maker. I felt the same sorrow when I learnt about my aunt's passing on earlier this year. Made me feel all mortal and subject to ill health, poverty, loneliness and most of all, imminent death. It made me realise that finally in this world, we are all alone, except for the grace of the Almighty. Our death may touch lives, but only for a short while. Or even worse, others may leap with joy. I wonder what my death will bring about in this world: peace, happiness or sorrow, or even worse, nothing? Hearing about death is definitely a humbling experience for me. At the end of the day, it is inevitable and it makes one wonder, what comes after that?

If it's based on my religious beliefs, the afterlife is a life of judgment. From the moment the body is laid 6 feet under, until the passing of judgment on Doomsday, punishment will be meted out. Such harsh reminders only make me wonder, is this all there is to it? Punishment and reward? Good news and bad news? At the end of the day, we are all at the Almighty's mercy. I feel like writing a bunch of nonsense right now.

Death is such peaceful sorrow,
For some, it just means no tomorrow,
For others, it means a new beginning,
The end of the tunnel, they say, is shining,

Death brings peace and calm,
For some, it means to sing a psalm,
For some, great joy it may bring,
For some, they may feel nothing.

Death is humbling,
It is there, inevitable,
Only with death,
We value life,
And only with death,
We value the present.

May he rest in peace.